Talking to squirrels

In an amusement park, not all the amusement comes from the rides. In this case, this story comes from a conversation between a guest and one of my fellow officers. I decided to share this story to share a laugh with everyone. For starters, let me be clear on the fact that wildlife is everywhere around the park. The squirrels aren’t really put off by people and sometimes beg for food.

Officer Dan was stationed outside of the sports bar. He was in charge of making sure that alcohol never left the bar. While standing at his post, he noticed a kid running away from a squirrel. The kid ran into the sports bar where his mother was sitting. The squirrel stopped at the gate, sat down and waited.

This was a peculiar sight so he watched the squirrel for a little bit. The mother of the child was soon tapping Dan on the shoulder. “Excuse me sir. I need some help.”

“Yes Ma’am, how can I help?”

“Well you see this squirrel is chasing my son and I was hoping that you could talk to the squirrel and tell him to leave my son alone.”

“Ma’am, can I ask how many drinks you have had tonight?”

“Four, but what does that have to do with the squirrel.”

“Well Ma’am, I regret to inform you that I am not Doctor Doolittle and I cannot talk to the squirrel.”

“Well then what are we going to do about him?”

“Did your son happen to feed the squirrel?”

“Why would my son…”

Cue the son to leave the patio area. The squirrel ran up to his boot and sat there begging.

Dan piped up seeing the squirrel’s reaction to the boy. “Did you feed him something?”

“Um…yeah, I gave him some of my potato chips.” The boy waved the bag.

Cue the squirrel to race back and forth. “Well, that explains it.” Dan had to think fast but before he had a chance, the squirrel had taken off towards one of the tables. Here we go again! Dan’s eyes showed what he hadn’t said. He was right. The squirrel’s next victim was a middle aged woman who was about to bite into her sandwich…


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