My brother got deployment orders. He has given almost a decade of service to the Army National Guard and while he’s spent a majority of the time on home soil, the rare deployment never comes easy. Deployments leave a mixture of feelings in their wake, for everyone involved. My brother spent a year in Kosovo and you never stopped. No one is asking you to go away. There is a part of you that makes me realize just how precious time with family is.
I keep in touch with my brother but you stay by my side. Last time it was months between letters and I found myself trying to find every update I could about troops on the ground, every day. My brother and I don’t really talk much, but as siblings we are there when we need each other. It’s a silent bond that not many understand. The no news is good news theory stops working when deployment comes into play.
I had someone tell me to hug my brother goodbye and that I would never see him again. They don’t understand the fear of that is real everyday my brother is not on home soil. “Training is this weekend,” suddenly isn’t training anymore. I’m the oldest of my siblings and I feel protective over them. I question whether it’s selfish of me to embrace you and fear for almost a year. It feels like someone took my heart and stepped on it.
You are what helps me cope. You are what makes me seek to better my relationships with my family and the ones I hold close to me. Goodbye Worry, until we meet again tomorrow.
A military sister